"Shave or Crave" - BlogAdda contest

                                         

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with BlogAdda.com

A stubble isn't bad as such but when it upsets the evening spirit, rough on the cheeks and your age begins to show off among those tini mini white hair, it can be quite a spoilsport and above all “I hate the Devdas look”. Reminds me of Shahrukh’s awful overacting in Devdas..

So, my cheerful mood on a Sunday took a toll seeing my hubby sport a stubble all of a sudden. The plan was to go out to the nearby mall to encounter the pre- Christmas celebrations.

“Eeeee, what’s that???” I shrieked.No reaction…

 “Please take it out”….. I lowered my pitch… (You know it works with men most of the times to see the woman bend)
Ignored…

“I beg of you”---and I waited for a decent response this time.. My man is a man of few words and for him "Action definitely speaks louder than words".."Bhaaaam" went the door…and I was left dumbstruck and helpless. All my pleas were paid no heed to and I was at a loss of words to influence him. All my hues and cries went kaput. And my ego and self- respect..Sob,sob L

My next plan was to serve him something that would brighten up his mood as the old thought goes “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”…I guess I had already made some way to it long back and couldn't push any further so my version of the same would be “The way to kill a man’s ego is through his stomach”. So I made his favorite dishes. He was happy, appreciated it much, and hummed a few lines of some crappy song (one of his favorites ).Taking benefit of the situation, I popped those pleads again.. “So all those lovely dishes were to blackmail me emotionally huhhhhh!!!”…. – instantly came the response…and poor me!!I was out of ideas to trick him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when it was finally time for us to move out in the evening, I felt so sick and grumpy that for a while I wished I was a man and could grow a stubble too LSo just as I was contemplating to cancel the evening plan, my hubby finally spoke up  ...”Ok babes, it’s Christmas time, time to rejoice and make your loved ones happy...So, don’t worry, I’ll get rid of it..Now cheer up and get dressed quickly in that favourite black of mine (again one of those that I hated to put onL but anything to eradicate a stubble)

“Thank you Santa, for bringing some sense to my hubby’s brains”…

Workaholic turns SAHM

A fun-filled and meaningful work/life balance,supportive and loving social circle,handsome paychecks vs a thankless,tiring,24/7 stay at home mom job..Which one do you choose?? Needless to say,the former!!!

Hmm,Unfortunately,life doesn't leave us with much choice..and we have to become one at some point in our life when family takes priority over career..
By the grace of God and with a good day care support,I could work for a good period of time after my son's birth..But I knew that it would all end one day and I would be forced to stay back home raising him..And so it finally happened after 11 years.

And I expected my life to be simpler with a long sabbatical,fantasy of my much desired me-time, organizing the house,trying different recipes,finding new hobbies,upgrading my skills and the joys of being with my baby that I really missed while at work..

It's been 3 weeks since my journey as a stay at home has started..The first 2 weeks were nothing less than hell,with sudden tremors of outbursts picking up every now and then, struggling to cope up with joblessness and excessive multi-tasking ..Outcome: Failure to keep an over active child chirpy all the time and feelings of guilt sprawling...I guess that's what happens when you are suddenly left with an unproductive mind and  an unrewarding never ending job!!and my happy plans remained as unfulfilled dreams only..and what happens to the poor kid..He is left to wonder what's wrong with mommy and gets crankier,grumpy and irritated !!

After much struggle to keep a maid or not,I finally zeroed in on a part time maid with my hubby's support who could bring me some solace and the sanity that I was beginning to lose..

Now,again,my mind is getting back to its normality, blissful thoughts are flowing in,productive thoughts are filling in and I am finally on my way to accomplishing my much cherished plans..Outcome: The poor kid is bubbly again!!

A few things that I gathered from this journey are :Never over-estimate your capacity,multi-task only to the extent you can ,meditate once in a while ,break out of the routine,write your heart out,exercise or indulge in any sport activity and most importantly get help if you can afford to till you are prepared to handle the show on your own..

Quote on life

The Art of making chocolates -workshop in Thane

Chocolates!!chocolates!!chocolates!!!Who doesn’t like them and if you can make chocolates in the comfort of your house when you have a little kid around,what else would you want !!! I made the most of the Mumbai visit this time by learning how to make basic yummy chocolates that does not take much time, are easy to make and costs much less than what you would get in the market!!

We made 23 different varieties of chocolates ranging from plain, crunchy butterscotch, crispies, fruits and nuts, cappuccino, orange delights, minty mint ,caramel, flaky ,double decker chocolates in different shapes to cookie dips, coco nutty bounty and lollypops. We learnt packing them too in decorative paper wraps.

So, for all the newbie’s like me ,you can join B.G’s classes and also follow them on Facebook @ BGs-Chocolates

Also, sharing this easy chocolate making recipe from  YouTube :

chocolate covered corn flakes recipe

Motherhood - A Reason to Love and Rejoice

Why does it so happen that we often ignore the divine present moments at hand and find ourselves lost in thoughts of the future that can wait to give these beautiful moments a chance to cherish for a lifetime?

While I was pregnant, I kept my mind engaged in useless thoughts of tomorrow, of fears of childbirth, fears of the unknown, fear of losing the job or possible inability to keep the job and the list goes on...

I got my 3 full months of much long awaited maternity leaves, after 10 years of dedicated service, little to no vacations and a routine work life. I had decided to make the most of it since this would be one of the very few long breaks one gets in a life full of jobs and work unless you plan a long sabbatical. When the time actually arrived, in between enjoying motherhood, I experienced bouts of depression, relapsed fear of joblessness, impending fading finance, and indefinite future of the child, etc., again missing the present moment that had so much to offer.

And guess what? I finally left  my job that I had hoped to hold on to forever when my child was 8 months old .Hence, I settled into a stay at home mom full time job. Again, instead of cherishing the lovely moments with the baby, I had been only thinking of new ways of generating cash flow and yet again attracting pointless alarmed thoughts of the future...

Today, I decided to pause and  give my horrifying stupid thoughts a chance to vanish for a while and enjoy the day with my son that I truly missed all these days...

It’s an overwhelming splendid feeling to capture real life visuals of your little loved one trying to cling to you and give you that captivating beautiful smile, troubling you, clapping his tiny hands, trying to hold, kiss and hug you, love you with his own small ways, the naughty face sneaking a peek when he refuses to comply, the small but significant acts that you will fail to catch if you blink....

So, does it really make sense to surround our minds by unpredictable thoughts that hold no good today. Instead, why don’t we let go and treasure these moments of the joys of motherhood that God has bestowed upon us with love...

Sahaja Yoga - Pathway to serenity!!

Few months back while I was pregnant, I attended a Sahaja Yoga session organized by "Young Professionals Network”. It’s a committee for professionals, as the name suggests in my organization.
I have learnt a few meditative practices including ART of living (basics),simple meditation and traditional yoga. Though I practice yoga regularly, I could not really bring myself upto meditating daily due to lack of time and interest and concentration...So I just thought of attending this session for a new enlightenment.
Well, It takes just five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the night and you are ready to embark into a divine journey...It’s very easy to practice too.
The main objective of any form of Yoga is to connect us with inner peace and silence that stays deep within each one of us.

Sahaja Yoga is a meditation technique which brings a breakthrough in the evolution of human awareness. It was created by Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi in 1970 and since then has spread all around the globe. It is very effective for stress management in our day to day lives.

Sahaja Yoga begins with Self Realization (Kundalini awakening) rather than it being an unattainable goal. Kundalini Shakti lies in a dormant state at the base of the spine of every human being. Shri Mataji in her own words, says, "Self Realization is the first encounter with Reality".

There are seven chakras (energy centers) within us. They are responsible for our physical, emotional and mental well being. Once Kundalini passes through the six centers (energy centers in the spinal cord) and penetrates through the fontanel bone area on the top of our head, our centers (chakras)get rejuvenated and we feel relaxed and calm and energized. We also feel a cool breeze flowing through our fingertips .You will feel it through the fontanel bone area on the top of our head as well.

It also produces a state of thoughtless awareness. We are always worried about our future or past. As Kundalini rises, these thoughts lengthen. A very small space is created between the thoughts as it spreads out and creates a state of complete silence. This helps us to remain in the present without any fear which actually is the reality.

When the fetus is about 2 to 3 months old in the mother's womb, rays of consciousness emitted through the power of heavenly Love, pass through the brain to enlighten it. The shape of the brain is like a prism. The column of rays falling on it gets refracted into four diverse channels. This corresponds to the four aspects of the nervous system. They are as follows:

Sympathetic nervous system - right side

Sympathetic nervous system - left side

Parasympathetic nervous system

Central nervous system

To experience Sahaja Yoga, click here
A person practicing Sahaja yoga can obtain Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual benefits. To know the benefits of Sahaja Yoga, click here

I’ve experienced a celestial feeling many times while practicing it, an emotion that I really can’t explain in words. It helped me immensely during those depression clad pregnant days...
Please share your thoughts/comments if you have experienced anything similar..

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms

So you have had your chance of being closely with your baby for 3 months of maternity leaves and now its the hardest decision to take: Going back to work..So,would you or wouldn’t you?

Research has proved that the foundation of all subsequent personality development lies in the initial 5 years of life. A lot of surveys demonstrate that more and more women are choosing to stay at home to give full quality time to their children,

Dr. Phil, however, says that there is really no evidence to support it. He went on to say that children in quality day care environments show improvements in cognitive and social skills as well as intellect and social comfort. He encourages all women to make a choice that will "bring her closest to fulfilling her hopes and dreams."

But for many working mothers the controversy over staying at home or having a career has less to do with career accomplishment and a lot more to do with financial need. In another survey, some women pointed out that they work coz they absolutely have to for survival and to meet the mounting expenses. They wished they could wait until their children went to kindergarten but situations compelled them to work and they did not have the benefit of time.

On the other hand, a lot of women feel that working makes them feel satisfied both at work and home and have happier children.

Hence, a mental debate occurs between a working mom who wishes that she could give more time to her family and a stay at home mother who desires to earn her fair share of credits as well. A lot of stays at home moms get dejected in the sole capacity of a parent missing the social connections and self-esteem. This makes the environment gloomy for a child too.

A few more surveys reveal the depressing truth of layoffs during recession times where the woman after putting
in hard years of work has been forced to quit and the stress of hunting for a new job in an unfamiliar
environment intimidates them to stay back at home. (This is a generic observation and does not limit to working moms only)

It’s also true that many women choose to quit their plush jobs due to the absence of a caretaker and lack of a
quality standard day care center.

Many organizations also do not offer flexibilities to working moms fearing that others may follow the same route and thereby losing a quality and trained employee.

Statistics

In a poll conducted by Oprah.com, 36% of the stay at home moms  wished they could go back to work and
66% expressed their  interest to quit their jobs and raise juniors. But around 85% from both the sides agreed 
that stay at home moms do not get the respect they deserve.

Advantages of being a stay-at-home mom

·         24 hours quality time with your baby and derive feelings of fulfilment

·         Nurturing the child in a soothing environment and making the child more secure

·         Capturing the “firsts” and moments that can be extremely satisfying and being a part of their
          emotional and physical growth

·         Make more investments in the emotional bank account

·         Pursue hobbies or areas of interests that wouldn’t be possible along with a full time job

·         Relax and rejuvenate reducing stress levels

·         Give 100% to family life

·         Lots of time for yourself and live a schedule-free life

·         Reduce day care and other regular office expenses

Advantages of being a working mom

·         Bring home a monthly fixed salary, increasing future income and meet inflation

·         Give a better life to your baby and family by sharing financial requirements and liberty to make
          independent financial decisions

·         Get dual satisfaction of accomplishment of being a career oriented woman and a mother

·         Stay connected with social networking circles

·         Children become less-dependent on parents and mature and can carry out many tasks better
          
themselves

So, at the end of the day, it’s a matter of choice that you make to be a stay at home or working mom, 
after taking all factors into consideration and which would work out best in your situation.

Work-Life Balance - Working Moms

I am the kind of a person who would pre-plan crazily and try to go by it as much as possible.I tend to get irritated and disturbed if things dont fall the way I intend to and strangely my life has somehow supported them:)

Right through my pregnancy,I had been planning on how to switch between baby and work all at the same time..

Barely 2 weeks after my child was born,I logged onto my laptop and started keeping myself updated with what's happening at work.I even started doing a couple of reports and attending a few conference calls when the baby would sleep to swing into the work mood assuming life would be easier when I actually resumed work.Initially it was really tough but gradually I could manage it(my long stay at my parents' place really helped here)

When I joined back work after 3 months,I could really sense a bit of relief when my pre-planning worked out to a large extent.

Things to keep handy that could help:

1.A diary to note down plans.I usually attach a time to each task..For e.g. Getting up - 8:30 AM,Feeding and taking bath - 8:30-9:00 AM,etc. and try to stick to it.

2.Invest in a multi-rack stand for keeping baby clothes(tshirts,pants,cloth diapers,etc) to pick up things fast.

3.Multi-tasking is the key(A word of caution : Dont try to be a superwoman:)

4.Get a domestic help/cook (Cooking and cleaning take up a huge chunk of time that could be utilised to attend to your baby.

 5.Try and convince your boss to agree on work from home for sometime.This will ensure some good quality bonding time with your baby in the initial few months.

6.Look out for a quality day care centre in the proximity of your office so that you can attend to the baby whenever required..

7.Stay in touch with your day care caregiver over phone regularly.Volunteer to help if time permits like partnering to take care of other children in the day care at times.

8.In case the baby is sick,split the day and responsibilities with your husband,work from home if possible,get external help from family or relatives or save some leaves to take care of the baby yourself if nothing else works out.

9.Save the weekends to spend most of the time with your baby ,to unwind and relax
 

6..Try to  keep an alternate plan if all your pre-planning fails (We are all human beings and can not predict the future)

I have found these links useful :

http://excelle.monster.com/benefits/articles/4693-multitasking-tips-for-working-moms?page=2

http://www.workitmom.com/quicktips/detail/4506/10-organization-tips-for-busy-moms

http://www.indianmoms.com/july-ezine/1.htm

5 things that bring me peace!!

1.Reading Books particularly the self-help ones(currently reading : The Lost Art of Healing by Bernard Lown)

2.Meditation (Sahaja Yoga ..You can explore more on my blog: http://peaceinpresenttimes.blogspot.com/)

3.Playing and cuddling my little one (He is going to complete 5 months on 10th )



4.Catching up with family and close friends

5.Scanning through old memories





Soham with Daddy and rabbits!!





To work or not

Give him your heart and soul and he will give you his...

To quit or not to quit, feeling guilty at the thought of leaving
your child in the custody of a nanny or day care or sacrifice
the lucrative job to raise child and let go the fixed salary and
incentives that would hit your bank account monthly...
These are few of the numerous thoughts and apprehensions that
... snatch our mind after the birth of a child..and there’s no better
solution than taking a spot decision when the situation
demands. But the question is : "How to take a decision?"

Let me begin with my experience :
I have been happily working for 10 years and continuing as
well..(minus happy :().
With the birth of a child along with the sheer happiness of the
new bundle of joy came a great fear of losing job,career,etc that
I had been managing freely until now fulfilling all expectations that my organisation had from me And no matter what you have done in th past will fade away soon..
3 months after my maternity leaves, I joined back office leaving my child with a maid..(Fortunately enough I got a nice 1)I did not want to opt for a day care so soon as the doctor had advised against it for the first 6 months till the child develops a better immunity system. It was a difficult decision..A decision that most moms have to take without choice, not to build a career in most cases but to provide for the monthly running fixed expenses and to offer a better life to the child.
Things have been managed so far (it’s been a month since I joined back and my son will complete 5 months soon) Obvious enough, I was missing the same respect that I had earned in the last couple of years...a perception that I am a mom now and not a dedicated and any time available employee
On several occasions I have had to rush back home due to emergency calls from my maid..Today I got the shock of my life when my maid informed that she can’t look after my son for a month due to a personal emergency
I called up my day care services centre and luckily (Thank God !!!), they have reserved a seat for my lil one...
I’m getting Goosebumps already!!!

So, welcome all ladies who have experienced anything similar in life and want to share their experiences..Lets begin a diary of our courage and perseverance to face these challenges in our daily lives and how we overcome them..
This is a community for all those who have broken all the roadblocks to continue with the job they like and those who couldn’t and
preferred or chose to live as stay at home moms.