Friday, December 30, 2011

Day cares-How to make them work for you!!

It’s not that I wanted to admit my infant of 5 months right away into a day care, but thanks to my nanny who would go missing more often than attending that I had no option but to find a place for him in the day care.
Fortunately we had done a great deal of research before hand and found one close to my workplace that we had registered at long back keeping an alternative had the nanny absented or absconded.

I started experiencing goose bumps few days before the “D-day” .The idea of keeping your tiny tot with 100 other children knowing that he would be infected easily, whether he would be able to adjust in an unfamiliar environment, if they would feed him, change his diapers timely or not, etc. etc harrowed my mind.

Well, finally the day arrived and we landed him into the day care centre..I had a long list with me to clear all my doubts (silly/practical).The owner was kind enough to bear me and my questions  Somewhat convinced, I dropped him off ..
3 weeks and going strong, Soham has adjusted well..
My observations and suggestions till now to make it work at day cares:

• Contrary to many negative stories (based upon individual experiences), day cares do care discounting minor misses. The supervisor who takes care of Soham is a paediatric nurse herself and has 3 nannies under her..They adore Soham and give attention to his needs. I do make it a point to make sudden visits (I am allowed to being a nursing mom) .I have always seen them taking care of all children with utmost patience.

• They keep me informed of almost all the activities like the number of formula feeds, diaper changing,etc (as I have asked them to ) and special instructions on days he is unwell.
I had handed over a checklist of important things that I’d need them to take care of on the first day itself like all his belongings, things that he likes to do, how to calm him down when he’s crying or irritated,etc

• I also take an update of the day’s activities while bringing Soham out.This makes them more responsible and accountable.

I’d still say that no one can take care of you loved one yet the way you would but when there is very limited or no choice of securing your child at home, with mutual trust and win-win partnership, day cares can bestow huge benefits for working moms. And most importantly, you can connect with moms with similar stories and know that you aren’t alone!!!

Please share your experiences !!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms

So you have had your chance of being closely with your baby for 3 months of maternity leaves and now its the hardest decision to take: Going back to work..So,would you or wouldn’t you?
Research has proved that the foundation of all subsequent personality development lies in the initial 5 years of life. A lot of surveys demonstrate that more and more women are choosing to stay at home to give full quality time to their children,
Dr. Phil, however, says that there is really no evidence to support it. He went on to say that children in quality day care environments show improvements in cognitive and social skills as well as intellect and social comfort. He encourages all women to make a choice that will "bring her closest to fulfilling her hopes and dreams."
But for many working mothers the controversy over staying at home or having a career has less to do with career accomplishment and a lot more to do with financial need. In another survey, some women pointed out that they work coz they absolutely have to for survival and to meet the mounting expenses. They wished they could wait until their children went to kindergarten but situations compelled them to work and they did not have the benefit of time.
On the other hand, a lot of women feel that working makes them feel satisfied both at work and home and have happier children.
Hence, a mental debate occurs between a working mom who wishes that she could give more time to her family and a stay at home mother who desires to earn her fair share of credits as well. A lot of stays at home moms get dejected in the sole capacity of a parent missing the social connections and self-esteem. This makes the environment gloomy for a child too.
A few more surveys reveal the depressing truth of layoffs during recession times where the woman after putting
in hard years of work has been forced to quit and the stress of hunting for a new job in an unfamiliar
environment intimidates them to stay back at home. (This is a generic observation and does not limit to working moms only)

It’s also true that many women choose to quit their plush jobs due to the absence of a caretaker and lack of a
quality standard day care center.

Many organizations also do not offer flexibilities to working moms fearing that others may follow the same route and thereby losing a quality and trained employee.

In a poll conducted by, 36% of the stay at home moms  wished they could go back to work and
66% expressed their  interest to quit their jobs and raise juniors. But around 85% from both the sides agreed 
that stay at home moms do not get the respect they deserve.

Advantages of being a stay-at-home mom
·         24 hours quality time with your baby and derive feelings of fulfilment
·         Nurturing the child in a soothing environment and making the child more secure
·         Capturing the “firsts” and moments that can be extremely satisfying and being a part of their
          emotional and physical growth
·         Make more investments in the emotional bank account
·         Pursue hobbies or areas of interests that wouldn’t be possible along with a full time job
·         Relax and rejuvenate reducing stress levels
·         Give 100% to family life
·         Lots of time for yourself and live a schedule-free life
·         Reduce day care and other regular office expenses

Advantages of being a working mom
·         Bring home a monthly fixed salary, increasing future income and meet inflation
·         Give a better life to your baby and family by sharing financial requirements and liberty to make
          independent financial decisions
·         Get dual satisfaction of accomplishment of being a career oriented woman and a mother
·         Stay connected with social networking circles
·         Children become less-dependent on parents and mature and can carry out many tasks better

So, at the end of the day, it’s a matter of choice that you make to be a stay at home or working mom, 
after taking all factors into consideration and which would work out best in your situation.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Soham turns 5 months!!

 Yesterday the little one turned 5 months..Its been an interesting journey so far...the exhilarating feeling when Soham entered this world...with an inquisitivess of the next unanticipated event,changing diapers every 10-15 mins...sleep deprived nights in the first 2.5 months with Soham waking up every 1-2 hours...constantly praying to god to help me get that long deserved rest,browsing through numerous articles online on "How to make you baby sleep more during the nights"and trying all possible ways to build a schedule to keep him awake during the daytime and failing each time...And finally Soham giving in to my long awaited demand..of sleeping for 6 hours at a stretch keeping me wondering whats wrong with him :)..

An excellent book gifted to me by one of my well wishers that kept me going through those tiring days(and still does), helped me relate to my situation and a must-to-have for every new mother is "Chicken Soup for the new mom's soul"

The tiny tot's 5th month birthday was celebrated over a coffe party with my close friend Akshara..who had come over to spend a day with us while my husband was away on a team outing...
We spent the evening chatting away,clicking pictures,playing with Soham and finally calling it a day with a lovely meal..

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The munchkin turns today!!

As a novice mom,I am experiencing and learning new things everyday...Today was another one when the little 1 learns to turn on his own...It was a breathtaking experience of a lifetime.

The past 2 months hadn't been  much activity-oriented other than normal gestures,smiles and laughter.I was wondering what would happen next..I had been poured with the same question from his pediatrician,family and close friends ample times- "Has he turned?" and I was tired on answering a frustrating "no" everytime..

My parents were fortunate indeed to watch it over Skype.He did it while I was chatting with them.Thanks to technology that has bridged gaps between 2 cities and helped people as dear as grandparents get unique experiences that wouldn't have been otherwise possible without physical proximity.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Work-Life Balance - Working Moms

Work-Life Balance - Working Moms

I am the kind of a person who would pre-plan crazily and try to go by it as much as possible.I tend to get irritated and disturbed if things dont fall the way I intend to and strangely my life has somehow supported them:)
Right through my pregnancy,I had been planning on how to switch between baby and work all at the same time..
Barely 2 weeks after my child was born,I logged onto my laptop and started keeping myself updated with what's happening at work.I even started doing a couple of reports and attending a few conference calls when the baby would sleep to swing into the work mood assuming life would be easier when I actually resumed work.Initially it was really tough but gradually I could manage it(my long stay at my parents' place really helped here)

When I joined back work after 3 months,I could really sense a bit of relief when my pre-planning worked out to a large extent.

Things to keep handy that could help:

1.A diary to note down plans.I usually attach a time to each task..For e.g. Getting up - 8:30 AM,Feeding and taking bath - 8:30-9:00 AM,etc. and try to stick to it.

2.Invest in a multi-rack stand for keeping baby clothes(tshirts,pants,cloth diapers,etc) to pick up things fast.

3.Multi-tasking is the key(A word of caution : Dont try to be a superwoman:)

4.Get a domestic help/cook (Cooking and cleaning take up a huge chunk of time that could be utilised to attend to your baby.

 5.Try and convince your boss to agree on work from home for sometime.This will ensure some good quality bonding time with your baby in the initial few months.

6.Look out for a quality day care centre in the proximity of your office so that you can attend to the baby whenever required..

7.Stay in touch with your day care caregiver over phone regularly.Volunteer to help if time permits like partnering to take care of other children in the day care at times.

8.In case the baby is sick,split the day and responsibilities with your husband,work from home if possible,get external help from family or relatives or save some leaves to take care of the baby yourself if nothing else works out.

9.Save the weekends to spend most of the time with your baby ,to unwind and relax
6..Try to  keep an alternate plan if all your pre-planning fails (We are all human beings and can not predict the future)

I have found these links useful :

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

5 things that bring me peace!!

1.Reading Books particularly the self-help ones(currently reading : The Lost Art of Healing by Bernard Lown)

2.Meditation (Sahaja Yoga ..You can explore more on my blog:

3.Playing and cuddling my little one (He is going to complete 5 months on 10th )

4.Catching up with family and close friends

5.Scanning through old memories

Soham with Daddy and rabbits!!

To work or not

To work or not
Give him your heart and soul and he will give you his...
To quit or not to quit, feeling guilty at the thought of leaving
your child in the custody of a nanny or day care or sacrifice
the lucrative job to raise child and let go the fixed salary and
incentives that would hit your bank account monthly...
These are few of the numerous thoughts and apprehensions that
snatch our mind after the birth of a child..and there’s no better
solution than taking a spot decision when the situation
demands. But the question is : "How to take a decision?"
Let me begin with my experience :
I have been happily working for 10 years and continuing as
well..(minus happy :().
With the birth of a child along with the sheer happiness of the
new bundle of joy came a great fear of losing job,career,etc that
I had been managing freely until now fulfilling all expectations that my organisation had from me And no matter what you have done in th past will fade away soon..

3 months after my maternity leaves, I joined back office leaving my child with a maid..(Fortunately enough I got a nice 1)I did not want to opt for a day care so soon as the doctor had advised against it for the first 6 months till the child develops a better immunity system. It was a difficult decision..A decision that most moms have to take without choice, not to build a career in most cases but to provide for the monthly running fixed expenses and to offer a better life to the child.
Things have been managed so far (it’s been a month since I joined back and my son will complete 5 months soon) Obvious enough, I was missing the same respect that I had earned in the last couple of years...a perception that I am a mom now and not a dedicated and any time available employee
On several occasions I have had to rush back home due to emergency calls from my maid..Today I got the shock of my life when my maid informed that she can’t look after my son for a month due to a personal emergency
I called up my day care services centre and luckily (Thank God !!!), they have reserved a seat for my lil one...
I’m getting Goosebumps already!!!

So, welcome all ladies who have experienced anything similar in life and want to share their experiences..Lets begin a diary of our courage and perseverance to face these challenges in our daily lives and how we overcome them..
This is a community for all those who have broken all the roadblocks to continue with the job they like and those who couldn’t and
preferred or chose to live as stay at home moms.